For years now, people have been complaining about how they miss the "good old days". Yes, your father, grandfather, great grandfather, and on and on have all been bitching about how people were better back in the day. That may be true for the most part, but let's remember that people have been being killed and going to war since the dawn of man. However, I can trace the ... read on

This evening I came home, turned on the computer, and I was ready to rocket along the information superhighway. I was 100% prepared to hit the electron road and get to checking some serious freakin' email action. Unfortunately, last night there was a brief period of intense electrical activity during some thunderstorms. While normally, that would mean that the power went o ... read on

Hamburger Helper, the name alone conjures up images of Cousin Eddie from Vacation saying, “I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than Tuna Helper myself, don't you, Clark?” Truer words have never been spoken, except that it kind of does require hamburger. It's delicious, and cost effective, I mean, for ... read on

Recently this snake oil for your forehead has been being advertised on television (usually on the news networks, go figure) that magically removes your headaches when you rub it on your skull. Their advertising scheme is pure genius, if you were a 6 year-old child. They simply repeat how to use it 3 times, "Head On, apply directly to the forehead! Head On, apply directly t ... read on

I am ready to vomit due to the crapulent swill advertisements from Dodge. I am sick of hearing about the "HEMI-POWER" in their new junk trucks. There is not much if any additional power gained in modern automobile engines from a hemispherical head. What kind of a retard honestly believes that dropping a chunk of change on a truck, based solely on the feature of hemispheri ... read on

I'm not sure, but I think I may have ranted about this before, and if I have bear with me, if I haven't you are in for a treat. I have had it with prescription drug commercials flooding the airwaves, I had had it with them when they were only in magazines, but now I am to the point of hunting down drug company CEOs and marketing people. When I was a child I had to sit t ... read on

What I love about infomercials is, that every single one of them begins the show off by inventing a problem, that their product is the solution to. I think that it probably takes longer to invent the problem than it does to invent the product. Like, "How often do you find yourself driving along the highway, and you see a great fishing spot? But you don't have your rod a ... read on

First off, yes it's a stupid name, and deserves all of the jokes about maxipads. Now, on to the real stuff. Last week, Apple revealed the worst kept secret in technology the iPad. Their slobbering imbecile followers in the tech press either claimed that Apple had done it again and changed the way the world uses technology, or they said they couldn't see what purpose it tru ... read on

Comparing a Mac to a Windows PC is like comparing a Hyundai to a Mercedes. Mac addicts are not only fools who have no idea of the value of a dollar, but they sure as hell can't come up with a good analogy either. It is nothing at all like comparing a Hyundai to a Mercedes. They are both computers, and they both do the same things. There aren't luxurious leather seats or as ... read on

Jared Fogle, the formerly fat bastard who hawks Subway sandwiches, has been dancing on my last nerve for the past 4 years. Ever since his first dramatic commercial, showing his lard-laden ass walking to Subway, and his miraculous weight loss, I've wanted his death to be swift and painful. What an annoying piece of crap. Honestly, do you think that a fast-food chain shou ... read on

I am pissed, pissed because of a bold maneuver by the people at KFC. These morons are changing what KFC means. It's ludicrous. As if it wasn't bad enough that they changed it to KFC, but now they're changing the very meaning of their name. Everybody older than 15 years old knows that KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken not Kitchen Fresh Chicken. Are they really under ... read on

Aaah, love is in the air on Valentine's Day. Except for pathetic losers such as myself. So, my current love is, a microwave. While it my seem silly for a fully grown man to love a microwave, you must understand just what a piece of trash my last microwave was. See, my previous microwave scared me to be in the same room as it while it was on, for fear of microwaves hurti ... read on

Red Bull advertising is repugnant in every single way. I hate their ads. I want them removed from the television, on the grounds that it is false advertisement. I know for a FACT that you do not get wings from solely drinking Red Bull. It is not biologically possible for said drink to cause spontaneous growth of wings. I don't care what their advertising bastards would ... read on

You know exactly which hell-spawned commercial I am referring to if you have ever seen it. It gives me a visceral response the instant I even hear that evil satan inspired advertisement. The one that has some low-brow wench dancing around singing Michelina propaganda to the tune of The Macarena, I want to vomit. Then shortly after the foul woman dancing around like a compl ... read on

I am going to lose my freakin' mind. I am tired of seeing these stupid advertisements on television. I know your answer is to just stop watching television, and get a job. But, I like unemployment, and what's more I have an addiction to television. So the only logical solution, is better advertisements on the ol' boob tube through virulent complaints on a website visited b ... read on

I am tired of reading about twitter. I'm tired of hearing about twitter. I'm tired of twitter. It's satan's frothy brew of wasted time and energy. Seriously, what the hell is the point? I can see the merits of twitter for jackasses trying to sell you crap, but why would you actually want to join? I recently started up an account with this complete waste of my time. Gues ... read on