A NEW Car for Biph

Recently my old car finally caused me to kick it to the curb. I was tired of it not starting under its own power, it had to be jumped every single time due to a short somewhere in the devilcar's electric system. It was a long time coming, but I had finally had enough of its only constant feature - pure crapiness. I also made a mistake in trusting my brother with what should have been a simple repair: getting the frickin' windows back into their tracks. After that failed repair, I was left with only two functional windows and one of them was a part-timer. This situation was unacceptable with the upcoming Iowa summer. So instead of spending well over a thousand dollars to have the whole damned electrical system removed and replaced (which is the ONLY way that the car would have ever overcome it's foul penchant for battery drain and frying parts), I chose wisely to remove the vehicle from my life. I must say I have not been happier behind the wheel of a car in years, thanks to my “new” used car, a 1989 Mazda 626 LX Sedan.

The new Mazda has early test-phase “zoom,zoom” and a five-speed, which makes it more fun to drive than a 1991 Dodge Dynasty (even with the 3.3L V6). The “zoom, zoom” is housed within a 2.2L 4-cylinder pimp engine, a delight to behold to be sure. It even has functioning A/C, something I haven't had since the first summer I had my most fondly remembered vehicle, the Cavalier. On top of all that it has over 225,000 miles on it, making it the longest traveled vehicle I have ever personally had the honor of driving. As you can see in the pictures, it is a sight to behold, see how its unending awesomeness just radiates from the digitized images of it, stand back and bask in its glory! Also, it has a pimpingly astounding feature that has been added since I began driving it, as seen in the picture to the right, a Spongebob Squarepants steering wheel cover, that alone makes this car worth more than 10,000 maniacs, and causes you to slobber on your keyboard taking in all of its fashion and studliness. You will take in its unstoppable beauty and worship me for having obtained such a terrific mode of transportation.