First off, yes it's a stupid name, and deserves all of the jokes about maxipads. Now, on to the real stuff. Last week, Apple revealed the worst kept secret in technology the iPad. Their slobbering imbecile followers in the tech press either claimed that Apple had done it again and changed the way the world uses technology, or they said they couldn't see what purpose it truly served (profits for Apple, I'm guessing) but hedged their bets by talking up how if any company can convince people to buy a piece of shit, it's Apple.

The iPad is a larger iPod touch. Dipshits under Steve Jobs' mental control will tell you otherwise, but that is exactly what it is, unless you buy the 3G version, which is a bigger iPhone, without the phone. Steve Jobs has been bitching about how he hates netbook computers, because they're so friggin' weak, and now he's issuing this creature to compete with netbooks. It certainly is no more powerful than a netbook, and it certainly isn't as versatile as a netbook, and it forces users to go through the Applegate to "Apps". The app store is the biggest scam in history, imagine if Microsoft forced you to only buy your software from their store, regardless of who made the software, there would be no end in sight for the bitching and moaning about how evil Microsoft was. But, when Apple does this exact thing, the apologists are out in force telling the ignorant masses how it is actually good for them to have no choice, afterall the quality is higher if Apple has to approve the apps. As iPhone and iPod Touch users could probably tell you the tens of thousands of RSS readers in the app store are all top notch apps.

Apple also can't quite decide what market they are shooting for with this large iPod, is it for movie people? music people? book people? It will be able to play high definition video better than a netbook. Whoopdee friggin' doo. Netbooks are mostly for surfing the Internet and doing some light work, like word processing or small spreadsheets. I know I don't use mine to watch movies, afterall I have a T.V., game consoles, DVD/Bluray players, and a desktop computer to do that, I don't head over to the damned coffee shop to watch a movie, that would make me a dumbass. Netbooks also come with decent amounts of storage, 64GB of storage is all that the iPad comes with (and that's maximum), hardly enough storage for a lot of movies.

The last market that Apple is trying to take control over pisses me off the most - eBook Reader. The iPad would not be good for that purpose, a back lit LCD screen like a computer monitor is not easy on the eyes, when I'm reading I prefer something that doesn't remind me of the hell I go through at work looking at a damned computer screen. eInk exists as a way to simulate printed pages, it's easy on the eyes, and it is low power, so you can read for hours without freakin' eyestrain. Of course, eInk is also LCD technology, but it isn't back lit. But what really chaps my ass about Apple's attempt to monopolize the eBook market is that they have a new iBookStore, which will charge more than $10 for new releases. Due to that the publishers are now putting the pressure on Amazon to raise their prices, which will in turn screw me and my nook over when Barnes and Noble becomes the next target. Higher prices for me on my eReader of choice, all thanks to the arrogance and hubris of Apple. I know I won't be buying any new releases at $15 for a copy of a book that I cannot resell and/or place on a shelf, or indefinitely lend to a friend.

The iPad doesn't look to be a big success at this point, it starts at $500 - I can get a decent laptop for that price. It runs a phone's operating system. And it doesn't really do enough things better to cause me to purchase a middling product between a phone and a real computer. (All of this based on articles written by people who have had hands on time with the iPad.)


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