I am going to lose my freakin' mind. I am tired of seeing these stupid advertisements on television. I know your answer is to just stop watching television, and get a job. But, I like unemployment, and what's more I have an addiction to television. So the only logical solution, is better advertisements on the ol' boob tube through virulent complaints on a website visited by 6 people and a chipmunk all last year.

There are currently 3 offenders on the most obnoxious list at this time. These are things that I will never waste my hard earned money on, unless I have a valid medical or scientific reason to do so. I feel that neither of these reasons will come up, but just in case you catch me attending classes at ITT Tech, there's your reason.

First up, the aforementioned ITT Tech, a fourth rate college with 8 billion campuses worldwide. They can stop advertising to me, I went to college, I did poorly, and I am now not-so-gainfully employed. The problem with their ads is simple, they need to find more like-able creatures who have attended their school. One is a jackass who is extraordinarily impressed with his graduation from ITT as valedictorian, twice. So the frig what?!? I think a properly dressed chimp who can arrive places on time could graduate with honors at ITT Technical Institute of Great Awesomeness. The guy looks like one of the industrial tech morons from any American high school, I ain't impressed. There are other ads where I actually feel bad for the borderline retarded individuals who attended the school that ramble on about how proud they and their parents are of them, for finally learning how to tie their shoes. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that ITT Tech is a decent school for people to learn a trade, but the people that sign up to do the ads are, each and every one of them, a train wreck. Pick someone who has frickin' invented something cool to do your ads, or at least that I may have heard of at some point in my geekulent life.

The AXE Effect ads are really starting to dance my last nerve. Look, who the hell do these dipshits creating these ads think they're fooling? They show these stupid ads where young men are using their idiotic product as some sort of mind control device to make young (and sometimes older) women fellate them. It simply cannot work. Unless, there is some sort of illegal substance in the product, which would of course be... illegal. Women do not flock to a man with a particular scent, sure it may seem as though some dudes have some extra pheromones, but the deal is, they are simply better looking and more charming than you, it isn't their musk. And AXE and Tag body sprays will not get you head, hand jobs, or even accidentally laid.

My last complaint is about the excessive advertising for Big Mamma's House 2. Why did they make this movie? Didn't the first one suck ass? I have been of the opinion for quite some time that over-advertised movies are complete pieces of shit. Sometimes a good movie is advertised a lot, but typically it isn't necessary. Or, maybe it is just these annoying ads that get under my skin and make me want to go all murder-suicide on my entire neighborhood (not to worry, I have that under control most of the time). But the ads for this piece of garbage, I find myself changing the channel to avoid them, that's how bad they are, and since most movie ads contain the funniest stuff, the movie must be awful. Martin Lawrence isn't all that funny to begin with, too coarse for my refined palate, and Martin Lawrence in fat-lady drag just can't be any funnier. If for no other reason than this one line, "Put some stank on it. That's all that is," do yourself a favor and don't go see this crap.

There, I feel slightly better.

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