I've been thinking the past few days, maybe weeks, about how to discuss the size of female breasts in a rant without being perverted and the like. Then today on the way home from work, I heard an advertisement for a product that I honestly think is very disturbing. The product is HeightMax a supposedly all natural growth enhancer. After hearing the ad I thought that maybe I should rant a little about the disgusting jackasses in America who think only of appearance, and thusly I can take a few pokes at boobs.

The advertisement for the growth enhancer features a parent who is suspect at best. He bitches on the radio for the world to hear about how concerned he was that his 15 year-old son was small for his age. What type of parent is worried about a healthy teenager being a little bit short? Sure, the lad may be teased a bit more due to his height, but I think we've all met a surly man of short stature in our lives that proves that size doesn't really matter that much. The way this douchebag spoke about his son's height seemed as though it was really his image that he was worried about, not the boy's opinion of himself. Which brings me to vanity.

Americans have become so complacent and image oriented that we can't even be good parents for the sake of being a good parent. We worry that if little Johnny is too short all the neighbors will think daddy's johnson is small, or worse that daddy isn't really the daddy. Aren't you supposed to love and support your children, not use them as some sort of idiotic extension of yourself?

Then there are the parents who want their kids to be successful, so they can reap the rewards of a wealthy or famous spawn. That is beyond repulsive, it's downright evil. Hollywood parents using their kids to make a living instead of themselves. I always thought that it was the parents' job to support the kids, not vice versa. I understand that movies require children to be in them, and television shows, but most kids have a fairly short attention span, it is parents being assholes to their children that keep them working.

Now boobs. I am getting tired of seeing movies and television with excessive numbers of women with fake breasts. I never in my life would have thought that I would get tired of breasts of any kind. I was wrong, I still can't get enough of the real deal, but fake breasticles are getting old really fast. Every show has a bimbo who paid a person to carve her up, for titties. Here's a secret ladies: they don't look good. They simply don't, bigger isn't better. I'd much rather look at (or feel) a pair of nice natural "A"s than look at a couple of fake "D"s. Sure natural breasts that are big is great, but the physics of the implants makes 'em look nasty. If you have two giant flesh cannons mounted to your chest, they shouldn't be standing straight out, have you heard of gravity? Granted, a pair that droop between a ladies knees might be gross, but better than a 70 year-old woman with boobs she can't see past.

I'm also tired of hearing these whiny breast enhanced idiots talking up how they did it for themselves, not for jobs. No lady, you didn't. What sort of a retard feels so badly about themselves that they volunteer for a lifetime of backaches thanks to a couple of unnatural sweater puppies? It's for the money. Money that is needed to pay for the breast enhancement and ass reduction. That's something else all-together.

Women with huge breasts, generally have larger asses. Having your boobs enlarged and your ass shrunk completely destroys the natural balance of things. Ladies, here's a tip: men like natural curves. Not a ten year old's ass with a stripper's rack. Men are a lot more accepting of a woman's big ol' booty if the ratios are right, and some men actually prefer a big ol' booty.

Vanity is getting out of control when we are willing to pay a doctor to cut us open and remove and add things in an unnatural way. Not to mention when we speak about our children as though their feelings are by far and away less important than our own image. People, we don't all need heaving breasts and sucked out thighs, and we certainly don't need to hurt childrens' feelings simply because they are short, fat, or ugly.

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