For years now, people have been complaining about how they miss the "good old days". Yes, your father, grandfather, great grandfather, and on and on have all been bitching about how people were better back in the day. That may be true for the most part, but let's remember that people have been being killed and going to war since the dawn of man.

However, I can trace the moral decay of the United States of America to two very slimey groups of people, Advertising Men and Attorneys. Two greasy sub-species of human that would willingly lie to God Himself to make a dollar. Good honest folk.

First advertisers.

Disgusting group of pissant liars. Every year I hear about the glories of OxyClean and other miracles of the modern age. How they get every single imaginable stain out in seconds. And yet, each year, they come out with a new and improved version. How can it be new and improved if the "old" formula got rid of every stain ever encountered by man since the dawn of time? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO IMPROVE UPON PERFECTION? The same is true of soft drinks. How many different versions of diet colas that claim to taste like the original are we going to have to sit through before they finally just come clean and tell us, "it's the best we could do without the good tasting ingredients."

Lying has become a part of our culture. It all started years ago with someone telling a small fib, a "little white lie", and it has since snowballed to blatant bold faced lies. Now, kids who used to be spanked for lying are learning early on that all you have to do is write up a fake report that supports your lie, and you can say whatever you want. Every night on the late night television there is some new miracle pill being sold, telling us all about its glorious properties, about success stories of people who did nothing different in their lives to lose 800 pounds. They speak those words, and then flash briefly across the bottom of the screen how those results are atypical and the case study people also changed their diets and exercise habits. It is all a bunch of bull dung.

Then attorneys. Once a noble profession, now a running gag on the nation.

This profession has single-handedly removed responsibility from the individual to all of society. Egomaniacal jerks in suits are all out trying to be the guy who pulled off the impossible in the court room. Convincing 12 normally intelligent people that their client, who was caught with the knife, plunging it repeatedly into the victim, on camera, while calmly stating their grievances with the victim, didn't do it. The king of these evil people was Johnny Cochrane (God rest his soul), when he convinced 12 people that O.J. didn't do it. Yeah, right.

We live in a society where if I were to maim someone breaking into my house, I could be sued into poverty by the perpetrator, who becomes the victim. There is no personal accountability anymore, it's always upbringing or society didn't accept them. If you are too retarded to know that coffee is hot and you spill it on your balls, you should learn a lesson, you shouldn't be able to cash in on your idiocy. Litigation is out of control and it has been since the 1980s, we don't need to have so many lawsuits that the court system becomes too choked up to prosecute real actual criminals.

The good old days did exist, back when kids got roughed up and bruised, and people said your kid's an idiot, instead of suggesting you call a lawyer. People once admitted the shortcomings of their products, but still convinced you that they were the best out there. What happened to those days? Before every product claimed to be the best, and a skinned knee was just a skinned knee and not a paycheck?


Print View