I'm sick of the cicada bullshit I keep hearing from the news media. Granted, it has been a few months since I heard this crapola, but I must say something.

Idiot scientists have been trying to tell the world that cicadas show up every 17 years. This is complete and utter crap. They are wrong. On the east coast, scientists who know absolutely nothing about entomology are saying that cicadas have come out for their 17 year party. No my idiotic friends, they are out every single year. It is locusts who enjoy the every seventeen year status. Locusts, which are also around every year, have higher populations every seventeen years, due to some of their breeds' life cycle.

Anyone who has ever been to Iowa during the summer and early fall knows that cicadas are out in force every single year, being a general noise nuisance. Not locusts. Locusts are actually only a problem in Africa, as over most of the European settled world we now use pesticides to control these crop ravaging insects. But historically, those of us who read the Bible know, that locusts are a true pain in the ass. Not cicadas, all they do is eat tree leaves, not OUR food.

So to you jackass pieces of shit scientists, lick balls, because cicadas are around EVERY SINGLE YEAR! As are locusts, but the cicada numbers are pretty much the same each year, and locust numbers see an increase thanks to their strange egg gestation period every 17 years.

Put that in pipe and smoke it, Animal Planet.

Addendum: Okay, I realize my folly, there are two kinds of cicadas, cyclical and regular, some do in fact come around every 13-17 years, just like the travelling locust hordes. I apologize if I have insulted any locust or cicada enthusiasts. But in Iowa, we have the same cicadas year in and year out, so I don't give two shits about the East coast's friggin' problem with cicadas.

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